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Fervent writer. Ravenous reader. Impassioned with words. Relationship researcher. Social Scientist. Social Justice Advocate. Author.

Could this be someone you know? Or even you?

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There are the obvious signs of a not-so-great person, such as habitual lying, being manipulative, cruel, etc.

And then there are signs that are less obvious. Those we might need to pay closer attention to, which signify someone with not such stellar character.

Here are a few of those sneaky, less obvious ones.

They Don’t Give Much Thought or Care to Their Behavior With Regards to People Around Them

This includes behavior or thought toward strangers, not just people they already know and like.

Think examples of people who act like this:

  • Taking loud cell phone calls on an otherwise silent public bus
  • Blasting music or videos from their phone in an otherwise generally quiet public…

Not doing this causes harm to our society in several ways…

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Today when out and about, I overheard and listened to an interesting conversation unfold about wearing masks outdoors. They were discussing the new CDC guidelines that were just released which say that, essentially, wearing masks outdoors is unnecessary.

The CDC and other scientists even remarked, “We’ve known this for some time, that wearing masks outdoors is overkill.”

The people I listened to acknowledged the new guidelines but then rapidly swept them aside, remarking, “I’m still going to wear a mask and keep distance from people, just to be safe.”

Another joked about shaming those who do not wear masks outside…

If this is you most of the time…here’s what you’re likely losing

image by Annie Spratt from

If you’re like most people nowadays, I bet you carry your phone almost everywhere. I also bet that much of the time, you might also be staring at its screen, scrolling, scanned, typing, or “liking.”

First, does any of this sound like you?

When standing in line at the grocery store, do you pull out and paw your phone?

When heading into the bathroom, is your phone clutched in hand to do something mindless on its screen while on the toilet?

When lying on the grass in the park, do you keep pulling out and looking at your phone?


There is not one major organ in the body or process in the brain that is unaffected by this…

image by Zhang Kaiyv from

Turns out that more than two-thirds of us are not getting the recommended eight hours of necessary sleep each night.

That probably doesn’t shock anyone. However, what may surprise you is the vast havoc and damage this wrecks upon all areas of your physical and mental health.

There is not one major organ in the body or process in the brain, that isn’t optimally enhanced by sleep (or, detrimentally impaired when we don’t get enough).

Sleep is the single most effective thing we can do to reset and heal our brain and body health every day.

Surprised by this? …

You’ll have to go through many before you find “the ones”

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Throughout my life, I’ve always had a couple of emotionally deep, close friends at any given time. Upon moving to Europe in 2013, I blossomed, found more confidence, and cultivated a slightly wider circle of awesome friends.

During four years of living there, I had around eight emotionally deep, supportive, fun friendships. I felt as though I could confide in each of them, and it seemed they felt generally the same about me. …

Here’s a big one

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An article in The Atlantic (published April 13th, 2021) says:

Too many U.S. institutions throughout the pandemic have shown little interest in the act of learning while doing.

They etched the conventional wisdoms of March 2020 into stone and clutched their stone-tablet commandments in the face of any evidence that would disprove them.

Liberal readers might readily point to Republican governors who rejected masks and indoor restrictions even as their states faced outbreaks.

But the criticism also applies to deep-blue areas. Los Angeles, for instance, closed its playgrounds and prohibited friends from going on beach walks, long after researchers knew…

Because cheating is far less black and white than we consider.

image by Dainis Graveris from

People cheat for many reasons, some of which may be conscious, others that are more likely to be sub-conscious.

As long as monogamy is the default relationship model and structure, there will be infidelity. This is not to excuse it. This is also not to say that infidelity is not hurtful, nor that it isn’t a huge breach of trust. It is. Just, that as long as we have monogamy, there will also be cheating.

Because we have attached morality to sexual fidelity, many people tend to find cheating synonymous with thoughts such as, “this means my partner doesn’t love…

And, this is time lost that we can never get back

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There are many positive, even wonderful things about cell phones.

A lifeline in a true emergency. The ability to track where someone is, again, in an emergency. I’m able to call my four close friends in Europe regularly and have long conversations with them for very little money, through apps like Viber or WhatsApp and thus, can remain closely connected with them.

So, of course, cell phones are not all bad. Like most anything, there are positives and negatives to our devices.

If used incorrectly though (and a lot of us do this), they can take away from our lives…

The types it’s better to avoid rather than pursue a friendship with.

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Dr. Jeffrey Hall, a professor at the University of Kansas, found that you can become “good friends” with someone if you spend 120–160 hours with them over the span of a few weeks, and “best friends” if you spend around 200 hours with them over about a month and a half. On the flip side, if you go more than a few months between your first meeting and the next one? A friendship is unlikely to ever form.

In general, it takes 90–200 hours to turn an acquaintance into a close friend.

Thus, friendship takes effort and investment. It’s worth…

Want to maintain optimal health and optimism? Here you go.

image by Patrick Malleret from

They Sometimes Say “No” to Something They’d Like To Eat (or Drink)

As most people know and are sad to acknowledge (me included), a lot of things that taste awesome are terrible for your health and cause a lot of damage when we eat them. Sugar. Wheat. Alcohol. To name a few. It takes effort to exercise discipline, to not always eat everything you want to eat.

Grabbing and devouring everything delicious is the path of least resistance.

It’s also the path to way lesser overall health, weight gain, and more disease.

People who are the healthiest will regularly say “no” to certain things that, in their minds, they’d like to eat…

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