As You Grow Stronger and More Confident, People Won’t Like You, and That’s a Great Thing.

Brooke Meredith
5 min readNov 21, 2019
image by Michael Mazzone from Unsplash.com

As you grow more confident, and with that confidence tends to come greater comfort in speaking up with regard to things like personal boundaries, not wanting to remain in situations that are harmful or distressing to you, and voicing dislike for things that you deem wrong, you’re going to ruffle some feathers.

Do not confuse my wording “stronger and more confident” with argumentative, self-righteous, nitpicky, or bullying, as these are not even close to the same thing.

Someone can be strong, confident, and decide not to take garbage from others, all while picking their battles and still maintaining a sense of poise, kindness, openness, and good manners. You need not be rigid, inflexible, or ever starting fights in order to have great boundaries and be a strong person.

However, once you begin saying “no” where you may have said “yes” prior (even though you didn’t really want to), once you start speaking up when someone is rude or offensive to you where you didn’t before, once you go ahead and walk away from or turn down time spent with others around whom you’d rather not, people are going to have an issue with it.

They’re going to get upset. Some might even get angry.

Why?

Because people don’t like to be told no.

They don’t like to be challenged or called out. People do not enjoy being held accountable. Most people you meet and know do not have the emotional maturity, bravery, or sense of personal accountability to meet such an interaction head-on and acknowledge where they might be wrong. Instead, most will rear back and hide, grow defensive, or, they will get pissed.

Toxic people hate being called on their dysfunction. Alternatively, half of them don’t even realize they’re toxic, nor do they care to examine this.

Controlling people do not like being challenged or losing control.

Bullies feel angered when they aren’t able to push people around.

“Dumpers” (my name for people with whom we have monologues- not conversations, who just dump, and dump, and dump on us their life story, dramas, feelings, thoughts, etc, with nary a…

Brooke Meredith

Ravenous reader. Social scientist. Foodie. Novelist. Adventurer. Romantic and idealist. www.sweetrawfree.com www.travelsandtrdelnik.com www.brunchesandbooks.com