In all Love, Heartbreak is a Given.

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(photo by Karim Manjra from

This should not be a cynical or depressing thought. Instead, it should be a liberating and freedom inducing one. A life and love enriching epiphany.

Think about it. In all loving relationships, whether it be romantic, friendship, familial, even connections with the pets and animals we love, they will conclude in one of two ways.

There is no avoiding it. In growing to love someone, you are signing up for eventual loss. This is the nature of love.

With friends, it might be that you drift apart, or that one of you eventually moves physically far away from the other and the friendship dwindles. Priorities and values can shift, so that a friendship then comes to a close either naturally or more overtly. One of you may make a mistake or do something to hurt the other, which sets in motion an ending.

With romances, these can conclude for all manner of differing reasons. A sudden differing of life paths, a deep hurt which occurs between the two, shifting priorities, a deal breaker which arises, the health of the relationship diminishes (or, it was never there to begin with). The list of possible reasons goes on. Many of which may be similar to why a friendship can end. While some are instead, unique to romances.

With family, it typically concludes in that one of you will pass away before the other. However, there are cases in which a family member is harmful or toxic, and instead, someone chooses to either add significant distance and firmer boundaries between themselves and this person, or they end the relationship altogether.

So you see, in loving, loss will inevitably follow. It’s merely a matter of in what format this will take.

However, this need not be a realization which creates fear or depression in our hearts. Instead, let it be liberating and courage igniting.

None of us can escape it. In love, we will experience pain. So, with this knowledge and certainty of what life entails, allow it to flow into and infuse your poignant loves with all the life, richness, heart, effort, and awe which you can.

You have nothing to try and avoid losing. Loss will already come.

Therefore, the only thing left you can do? Go all in.

Since loss and pain are part of all loving connections and there is no avoiding it, no matter what you may do to try, why not then revel in and give your love all you’ve got?

Let this awareness of loss being a part of life remind you to look at them as the treasure they are. A temporary, and as a result, achingly special gift in your life. A beautiful, though impermanent, magnificent connection they are within the starry sky of your human experience, for however long they might be present within it.

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(image by Alejandra Quiroz on

Choose to allow this knowledge to motivate you, so that you may not take them for granted. Bravely tell the people special to you, just how much they add to your life, and in what ways. Choose them, because you may not always have that chance. Revel in the love and joy you experience with this individual. Be daring in your feelings for this person, instead of tentative and guarded. We have such little time. Be all in.

And do this by remembering that in all love, loss will follow.

Thus, let your loves be fireworks, a breath stealing wonder, a collection of vivid and awe inspiring connections. Bask and rejoice in this opportunity you have been given, to be alive and in turn, both to love, as well as be loved.

Written by

Fervent writer. Ravenous reader. Impassioned with words. Relationship researcher. Social Scientist. Social Justice Advocate. Author.

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