Love Is Something You Do: a Few Lessons On Friendship.

image by Kevin Gent from

Many people forget that merely thinking someone seems nice does not actually make them a great person. That is something you learn about a person, over time, and through careful observation. This will be revealed via their actions, not their words.

I watch a plethora of people gravitate towards others who are either outgoing, seem “cool”, or who are leaders and those who run the show.

Even if we are relatively happy with our romantic and social lives as they stand now, we can always be a better friend or partner.

We all have weak spots, character flaws, and ways in which we could be better friends and partners. It is truly mature and impressive people who both know this and then act accordingly, with regards to ever seeking self-growth and continued learning.

Learn the gestures of love.

People who are experts at love know that emotions ebb and flow, and they look for gestures of love even when their emotions are on the wane.

They have a certain transparency, allowing you to see what is in their hearts.

People with deep, lasting friendships may be introverts, extroverts, young, old, dull, intelligent, homely, good looking, but one characteristic they always have in common is their lack of facade.

Dare to talk about your affection for others.

We often fear to seem sentimental or feel afraid of rejection, so we hold back on expressions of warmth and thereby, miss out on rich and profound connections and friendships.

Employ the language of acceptance.

That does not mean that we approve of everything in the other. Acceptance is entirely different.

Be cautious with criticism and feedback.

If you do this often without being asked, divert yourself from it as soon as possible.

Learn to TRULY listen.

Most people listen briefly, then immediately turn the conversation, in some way, back to being about them or connecting to them, to their opinion or their experience.

The best relationships have all weathered misunderstandings and trying times.

Some people assume that when their friend or loved one is angry with them, the friendship or relationship is over. Not necessarily so.

In order to repair your relationship when it is going through a challenge, here are some suggestions:

-Locate the trouble spot.

Fervent writer. Ravenous reader. Impassioned with words. Relationship researcher. Social Scientist. Social Justice Advocate. Author.

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