Protecting Your Child Too Much Can Harm Them and Hinder Their Ability To Succeed In Life.

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So, what is accommodating behavior? Here are a couple of examples.

Your child is in tears because they haven’t finished a project for school that is due the next morning. You might sit down and talk with your child, trying to soothe their worries and coach them through it. Heck, plenty of parents would even just do the assignment for the child.

Here are some things that Lebowitz says he has heard parents doing, to avoid setting off their anxious children:

Going upstairs to get a child’s backpack before school because the child is scared to be alone in any area of the house and the parent doesn’t have time to argue about it.

All of this coddles a child. It shields a child from crucial growth, learning resilience, and from the difficulties of life. This can create an emotionally weak, fearful, anxious person later on, who lacks resourcefulness and resilience.

It can also result in an entitled, spoiled child. One who is used to getting whatever they want, being catered to, and who is used to being rescued by their parents. This can lead to children who are lazy and don’t try. Why would they, when they know their parent’s will just swoop in the save the day if they need it?

A better approach from the parent: expressing empathy to your child for their suffering, but, confidence in their abilities to work through it on their own. Steeping back, not swooping in and helping, and allowing your child to start coping for themselves.

Fervent writer. Ravenous reader. Impassioned with words. Relationship researcher. Social Scientist. Social Justice Advocate. Author.

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