Safe Versus Unsafe People.

Finding the good ones (and avoiding those who aren’t).

Brooke Meredith
9 min readSep 5, 2019


Photo by Pelly Benassi on Unsplash

Ever wondered, how can I make sure to choose good friendships or romantic relationships?

Who are the people to avoid?

What makes someone toxic?

Are there specific personality traits to watch out for, or do you just go with your intuition on these things?

What makes a “safe” or “emotionally healthy” person and relationship?

What makes someone a harmful one?

These are questions of paramount importance and those which most people do not consider in near as much depth as they should. They are crucial for the reason that the relationships, friendships, and family relationships we choose will determine the quality of our life.

With whom you surround yourself has a significant, resounding impact on your happiness, physical health, accomplishments, and emotional wellbeing.

Learning the answers to the questions above will help in both finding and choosing relationships that are good for you (aka “safe people”) and then avoiding those that aren’t (aka “unsafe people”).

Having the guts to enact these filters and make these choices in your life (which will not always be easy) will make for one which is significantly happier, less stressful, and filled with greater joy and quality connections. Your vibe attracts your tribe. And, we become like the 5 people with whom we spend the most time.

Choosing with whom you surround yourself is not something to be taken lightly or approached with passivity.

So, how do I spot unsafe people? What are the personality traits to look out for?

1. Unsafe people are generally hateful and negative. You know them. The people who always have something to complain about. This sucks, that is awful, this person is the worst, that was boring, it was horrible, that was too long, this was dumb, the list goes on and on. Hatred and anger seep from this person most, if not all of the time. They will, of course, have moments of positivity and seeming happy. The key to watch for: what is their overarching aura…



Brooke Meredith

Ravenous reader. Social scientist. Foodie. Novelist. Adventurer. Romantic and idealist.